Friday, April 27, 2007

I met Tom Cruise and I did it with a bag of chips


Yesterday...

8:00 AM Our Spoken language class begins.
It was Friday, it was a warm sunny day (my arm skin was touched by the sun for the first time in months), and it was the last class before a week holiday. Even so our class was like a meeting of the UN with 2 Japanese, a Korean, and 6 of us Americans.

8:10 enter Rob stage left
Our teacher exclaims "Oh here's handsome boy!"
Rob smirks, and begins to walk to his seat. As he does so the middle-aged Korean lady reaches out as if to embrace handsome boy. rob awkwardly giggles and sits in his seat.

9:15 we learn how to form the question equivalent to " Hey isn't that so and so?"
We then begin to come up with clever examples, Rob towards tim:"Hey isn't that Brad Pit?" Etc. The teacher then pipes in " To be honest Rob, when I first met you I thought 'Oh, It's Tom Cruise!'" Immediately the middle-aged Korean woman and 65 year old Japanese woman turn to Rob and squeal with all the zeal of two 12 year old girls. I really couldn't decided if it was cute and funny or incredibly awkward and creepy. I've lost sense of those things...


6:30 PM enter 8 americans into Rick's american cafe
We decided to all have dinner at the most american place in our city. peanuts, tom petty, melissa etheridge, baseball bats, readers digests, tuna sandwiches, cowboys and hamburgers.

6:55 enter Nathan and Rick
After they roll up on their sweet hogs, the owner of the restaurant walks in while a new foreigner, probably in his late 30s, subbles after him. He then stops, swaggering a bit and exclaims " I DON'T THINK I KNOW YOU ALL BUT I'M NATHAN!" "hi nathan.." Nathan grabs some more beer, maybe not a good idea.

7:10 Nathan strikes up conversation
After making multiple attempts to use the occupied bathroom, since we obviously have so much in common with nathan(big noses, mostly white faces and english skills) he decides to have a little chat. (the caps shows volume of voice)
"SO, IM SORRY BUT IM CURIOUS, THAT'S JUST WHO I AM, I DO WHAT I DO[lifts up beer glass], WHERE ARE YOU ALL FROM?"
"america"
"WHICH STATE?"
"californ..."
" YEAH I LIVED THERE!!! SO WHERE ELSE?"
"we're all from california"
"BOO!!!! HAVEN'T YOU ALL HEARD OF TRAVELING?!?!"
we exchange glances, not really knowing how to respond seeing how were in a foreign country and all...
"SEE YOU ALL ARE YOUNG, YOU SHOULD TAKE EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO TRAVEL EVERYWHERE YOU CAN. YOU KNOW THEY HAVE A SAYING IN AMERICA; 'I DID THAT WITH A BAG OF CHIPS'. WELL I CAN SAY 'I'VE LIVED IN GERMANY, FRANCE, SPAIN AND EAST ASIA....AND I DID IT ALL WITH A BAG OF CHIPS!!!!'"

well needless to say we sure took his advice to heart. later that evening nathan serenaded us with his drumsticks and the glass table, quite nice, quite nice. i sure am excited to go back to america!

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Foreigners are idiots

Last Thursday Ricky and I were on a search for a conference room which lead us into uncharted waters of the city we live in. Of course this lead us to realize that the fact we are foreigners will always be a handicap...

After going to strange idol worshiping hotels, discussing the benefits of sustainable farming and whether or not David Crowder would be staying at any of the hotels, we hopped on the number 10 bus.

A few stops later we arrived outside a middle school. The bus was surrounded but maybe a hundred little 8 year old 'shao peng you's' in their uniforms, complete with bright yellow baseball caps. Six girls got on our bus, and seeing our white shinning faces headed towards the back of the bus to gaze at our glory/lack of color. One brave girl spoke up...

(Note: (E) means in English (A) means in East Asian Be aware, this will make or break the story...)

Brave girl:(E) Hello!
Echo of other girls:(E) Hello! *giggle giggle giggle*
Me and Ricky:(A) Hello little friends!
Girls 2 to other girls: (A) Are they going to the ferry?
Me: (A) No we are not going to the ferry, we are looking for a hotel.
Girl 1 to others:(A) Are they foreigners?
Brave Girl: (A) Of course they are, look at them!
Girl 1: (A) But they can speak our language!

they stare at us...

me and ricky pretend not to understand...

Girl 2 to other girls: (A) How do you say rabbit?
Ricky: (E) Rabbit.

girls seem oblivious

Girl 3:(A) Yeah, how do you say rabbit?
Ricky: (E) Rabbit...
Girl 4:(A) I dont know.
Ricky a little louder:(E) rabbit!

girls still do not acknowledge

Girl 4:(A) How do you say cat?
Ricky: (E) Cat.
Brave Girl: (E) K...K..
Ricky(Still invisible):(E) CAT! No, no you are right I obviously dont know what I am saying keep ignoring me girls...
Girls(Still ignoring): (A) How do you say it...
Brave Girl:(E) Kitty!
Girls: (E) Kitty! Kitty! Kitty!
Ricky:(E) Cat!
Girls: (E) Kitty! Kitty! Kitty!

After we got off the bus we decided that we better stick to what our books teach us about the language, obviously foreigners can never learn the language pass the point of 'asking for directions', 'buying things at the market', 'sports meets' and 'making a phone call'. or if you do, little girls will assume you dont know anything.

East Asia: 1
America: 0