Bill Gates is a cow

Yesterday was a day that changed my life. It began in our morning language class. While learning how to best buy fruit, our teacher of course began to explain how to insult and compliment people. One of the highest forms of praise is to call someone a cow. Of course this led to the boys having the right to call us girls heifers without us having slapping rights. Our teacher went on to explain...
"Yes, yes, yes. You are a cow. Like Bill Gates is a cow."
As I sat pondering what made Bill Gates so cool suddenly I was aware of the force. The force was all around me, following from me to the chalk board, to the circle breads outside even to my classmates. Not only that, but I found I could control it, the power was great. It was the force of nerd.
My day went on like any other, in fact that morning seemed as a distant dream. Then the evening came. Ricky, Brett, Tim and I were all walking to the Muslim noodle restaurant for dinner. Outside the restaurant me and Tim struck up a normal conversation about our evening plans. The steam from the boiling noodles covered us, even so the force was strong...
Tim:"So what are you doing tonight?"
Me:"I don't know I was thinking about watching a movie but I don't really want to go through the whole process of picking one out"
Tim: " I was thinking about watching one too. I was thinking about watching..."
Me:"The Empire Strikes Back?"
Tim:"I was just going to say that! How did you do that?!"
We both sat at the table in awe of the force's power. Later four of us sat in glory as Luke's hand got cut off, Yoda stopped acting like Elmo and Han Solo was handsome. After the movie and my friends left, I felt a coldness. My bent glasses were slipping off my nose more then usual, the lights seemed brighter, my removed mole scars burned as if Lord Voldemart was approaching, I could feel in the distance my friends liking me less. I hated it. I want to use the force to make nerds out of J-Lo, Fergie and Angelina Jolie(who Ricky informed just adopted again, you go girl). And I hated them. I wanted to retreat from it all. Then a voice ran in my head...

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

Immediately I ran to my bed and opened Lord of the Rings, Two Towers. The wisdom of Gandalf was a comfort. I knew the force would always be with me.

Oh...

Like I needed another distraction in my life. shoot.

I think ill take up swearing. i need a little more hardness to my character.

crap.

(i flashed a gang sign when i said that)