The period of silence

Ok so its been a while.



But im alive. and well. and in america. rockin'


and me and my new wonderful roommates have a blog that will probably be updated a lot more than this one. http://381broadst.blogspot.com/


more to come later.

thank you.

Why I know longer fear death...

Taxi's in asia.


really, you learn to place your life in a driver, most of whom really need glasses. In this country traffic laws don't really count for much.

so after living here for almost 10 months, i really thought i was numb to almost dying in a car crash. maybe i ran out of adrenaline or something. that was until yesterday when we we got a ride from driver X...

Me, Rob, Ashleigh and Justin all pilled in a taxi to head back to school. i knew i was in for something special when he pealed out of the parking lot and almost hit a pedestrian. good thing they are really good at blaring their horns. the ride continued on with him swerving in and out of cars like crazy, speeding up to only slam on his breaks at a traffic light. one time X beat the rest of the cars then proceed to hawk a loogie out the window in this confidence. since i sat in the back seat on his side so i ducked to avoid the spit particles. he laughed at our revulsion.

After getting stuck behind some slow trucks, X lost it and passed them and stepped on it. I have no idea how fast he was going, but it seemed pretty fast. we were speeding to a blind intersection and a car pulled out, we honk and swerved around it. at all of our intakes of air the driver laughed and said (in east asian):

X: Its nothing!!
Rob: Its nothing?
X: hahaha, you are so afraid! hahaha

so needless to say, i was glad to get out of the car, even though i had to doge another loogie while doing so. yayyy!

I met Tom Cruise and I did it with a bag of chips

Yesterday...

8:00 AM Our Spoken language class begins.
It was Friday, it was a warm sunny day (my arm skin was touched by the sun for the first time in months), and it was the last class before a week holiday. Even so our class was like a meeting of the UN with 2 Japanese, a Korean, and 6 of us Americans.

8:10 enter Rob stage left
Our teacher exclaims "Oh here's handsome boy!"
Rob smirks, and begins to walk to his seat. As he does so the middle-aged Korean lady reaches out as if to embrace handsome boy. rob awkwardly giggles and sits in his seat.

9:15 we learn how to form the question equivalent to " Hey isn't that so and so?"
We then begin to come up with clever examples, Rob towards tim:"Hey isn't that Brad Pit?" Etc. The teacher then pipes in " To be honest Rob, when I first met you I thought 'Oh, It's Tom Cruise!'" Immediately the middle-aged Korean woman and 65 year old Japanese woman turn to Rob and squeal with all the zeal of two 12 year old girls. I really couldn't decided if it was cute and funny or incredibly awkward and creepy. I've lost sense of those things...


6:30 PM enter 8 americans into Rick's american cafe
We decided to all have dinner at the most american place in our city. peanuts, tom petty, melissa etheridge, baseball bats, readers digests, tuna sandwiches, cowboys and hamburgers.

6:55 enter Nathan and Rick
After they roll up on their sweet hogs, the owner of the restaurant walks in while a new foreigner, probably in his late 30s, subbles after him. He then stops, swaggering a bit and exclaims " I DON'T THINK I KNOW YOU ALL BUT I'M NATHAN!" "hi nathan.." Nathan grabs some more beer, maybe not a good idea.

7:10 Nathan strikes up conversation
After making multiple attempts to use the occupied bathroom, since we obviously have so much in common with nathan(big noses, mostly white faces and english skills) he decides to have a little chat. (the caps shows volume of voice)
"SO, IM SORRY BUT IM CURIOUS, THAT'S JUST WHO I AM, I DO WHAT I DO[lifts up beer glass], WHERE ARE YOU ALL FROM?"
"america"
"WHICH STATE?"
"californ..."
" YEAH I LIVED THERE!!! SO WHERE ELSE?"
"we're all from california"
"BOO!!!! HAVEN'T YOU ALL HEARD OF TRAVELING?!?!"
we exchange glances, not really knowing how to respond seeing how were in a foreign country and all...
"SEE YOU ALL ARE YOUNG, YOU SHOULD TAKE EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO TRAVEL EVERYWHERE YOU CAN. YOU KNOW THEY HAVE A SAYING IN AMERICA; 'I DID THAT WITH A BAG OF CHIPS'. WELL I CAN SAY 'I'VE LIVED IN GERMANY, FRANCE, SPAIN AND EAST ASIA....AND I DID IT ALL WITH A BAG OF CHIPS!!!!'"

well needless to say we sure took his advice to heart. later that evening nathan serenaded us with his drumsticks and the glass table, quite nice, quite nice. i sure am excited to go back to america!

Foreigners are idiots

Last Thursday Ricky and I were on a search for a conference room which lead us into uncharted waters of the city we live in. Of course this lead us to realize that the fact we are foreigners will always be a handicap...

After going to strange idol worshiping hotels, discussing the benefits of sustainable farming and whether or not David Crowder would be staying at any of the hotels, we hopped on the number 10 bus.

A few stops later we arrived outside a middle school. The bus was surrounded but maybe a hundred little 8 year old 'shao peng you's' in their uniforms, complete with bright yellow baseball caps. Six girls got on our bus, and seeing our white shinning faces headed towards the back of the bus to gaze at our glory/lack of color. One brave girl spoke up...

(Note: (E) means in English (A) means in East Asian Be aware, this will make or break the story...)

Brave girl:(E) Hello!
Echo of other girls:(E) Hello! *giggle giggle giggle*
Me and Ricky:(A) Hello little friends!
Girls 2 to other girls: (A) Are they going to the ferry?
Me: (A) No we are not going to the ferry, we are looking for a hotel.
Girl 1 to others:(A) Are they foreigners?
Brave Girl: (A) Of course they are, look at them!
Girl 1: (A) But they can speak our language!

they stare at us...

me and ricky pretend not to understand...

Girl 2 to other girls: (A) How do you say rabbit?
Ricky: (E) Rabbit.

girls seem oblivious

Girl 3:(A) Yeah, how do you say rabbit?
Ricky: (E) Rabbit...
Girl 4:(A) I dont know.
Ricky a little louder:(E) rabbit!

girls still do not acknowledge

Girl 4:(A) How do you say cat?
Ricky: (E) Cat.
Brave Girl: (E) K...K..
Ricky(Still invisible):(E) CAT! No, no you are right I obviously dont know what I am saying keep ignoring me girls...
Girls(Still ignoring): (A) How do you say it...
Brave Girl:(E) Kitty!
Girls: (E) Kitty! Kitty! Kitty!
Ricky:(E) Cat!
Girls: (E) Kitty! Kitty! Kitty!

After we got off the bus we decided that we better stick to what our books teach us about the language, obviously foreigners can never learn the language pass the point of 'asking for directions', 'buying things at the market', 'sports meets' and 'making a phone call'. or if you do, little girls will assume you dont know anything.

East Asia: 1
America: 0

Bill Gates is a cow

Yesterday was a day that changed my life. It began in our morning language class. While learning how to best buy fruit, our teacher of course began to explain how to insult and compliment people. One of the highest forms of praise is to call someone a cow. Of course this led to the boys having the right to call us girls heifers without us having slapping rights. Our teacher went on to explain...
"Yes, yes, yes. You are a cow. Like Bill Gates is a cow."
As I sat pondering what made Bill Gates so cool suddenly I was aware of the force. The force was all around me, following from me to the chalk board, to the circle breads outside even to my classmates. Not only that, but I found I could control it, the power was great. It was the force of nerd.
My day went on like any other, in fact that morning seemed as a distant dream. Then the evening came. Ricky, Brett, Tim and I were all walking to the Muslim noodle restaurant for dinner. Outside the restaurant me and Tim struck up a normal conversation about our evening plans. The steam from the boiling noodles covered us, even so the force was strong...
Tim:"So what are you doing tonight?"
Me:"I don't know I was thinking about watching a movie but I don't really want to go through the whole process of picking one out"
Tim: " I was thinking about watching one too. I was thinking about watching..."
Me:"The Empire Strikes Back?"
Tim:"I was just going to say that! How did you do that?!"
We both sat at the table in awe of the force's power. Later four of us sat in glory as Luke's hand got cut off, Yoda stopped acting like Elmo and Han Solo was handsome. After the movie and my friends left, I felt a coldness. My bent glasses were slipping off my nose more then usual, the lights seemed brighter, my removed mole scars burned as if Lord Voldemart was approaching, I could feel in the distance my friends liking me less. I hated it. I want to use the force to make nerds out of J-Lo, Fergie and Angelina Jolie(who Ricky informed just adopted again, you go girl). And I hated them. I wanted to retreat from it all. Then a voice ran in my head...

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

Immediately I ran to my bed and opened Lord of the Rings, Two Towers. The wisdom of Gandalf was a comfort. I knew the force would always be with me.

Oh...

Like I needed another distraction in my life. shoot.

I think ill take up swearing. i need a little more hardness to my character.

crap.

(i flashed a gang sign when i said that)